You can read about these changes below...
- Realising I had done the fatal flaw of not choosing a target audience, I was relived to see that I had writing it subconsciously for young adults and beyond. Therefore, I made sure to go over certain words and change them as appropriate. One word that I especially felt I needed to change was 'wish' when the player was asked what they wanted to do. I felt that it was too old fashioned or better for a children's story or fantasy book. I ended up replacing it with 'want' as its asking the player directly and sounds more snappy.
- Changed 'story book' to 'novel' as the latter is more appropriate for older audiences.
- Decided to keep contractions (won't / isn't) so as to have a more casual style and make everything fit on a single page.
- Removed a lot of X says Y in dialogue replacing them with things that would be more exciting. Such as describing what they do instead of making it obvious who said the line.
- Changed a regretful character's perspective of a half full wine glass to a half empty one as this is a subtle way of showing their pessimism rather than optimism.
- Shortened the sentences used during the chase so as to make it more punchy and exiting. Therefore, reflecting the speed of a chase.
No comments:
Post a Comment